Adopted

Kenzie... The Kenzie Treatment: Is It the Happiness Pill of the Future?

Have you ever been sooooo happy that you just sing for the joy of it? Soooo happy that you just want to skip down the hall? How long has it been since you felt that way? And, do you want to feel that way again?

You do? Great, take one Kenzie and you will feel like singing and running for sheer joy!

Our trial package of Kenzie came with this warning label: “She is a bolter at the front door and she is a digger… don’t trust her in the backyard alone!” OK, we eased into the Kenzie prescription with caution. We kept the leash on her and worried about answering the front door. But after taking Kenzie for just a few days, we realized we didn't need to worry about those particular side effects.. We don’t know if it was the socialization with our Golden or what, but she has never bolted—and in fact needs to be invited to follow you through the door. She does her business in the backyard and will sit by the door till we let her back in.

Continuing the Kenzie dosage as recommended, I soon noticed something else. Kenzie just lives to be happy, and it is infectious. She now has the run of the house all day while we are at work. No adverse drug events have been observed, just the benefit of extreme feelings of happiness when you come home to a loud bark, a happy howl, and a stuffed animal present. The Kenzie treatment is working! Sometimes we even get a happy howl at the food bowl or during a stroll through the living room.

After 3 days in our house, we packed up Kenzie and our own Golden and drove from Austin to Houston to visit our kids and granddaughter. How would the Kenzie formula work on a 3-year-old? We did not have do a multi-year, FDA- approved double-blind study. We just walked into their home and let the Kenzie medicine work. Our toddler granddaughter quickly adjusted to higher and higher doses of “Chase-you/Chase-me.” She would go down the hall screaming with laughter, with Kenzie right behind her singing for joy just as loudly. Yep, the Kenzie treatment works on kids as well as it does on adults!

Reading the medical fine print above, you might think the Kenzie treatment is a fountain of youth. In fact, Kenzie is a small 8-year-old blonde Golden with a little gray around her muzzle. She is a timed-release capsule. She can go all day dispensing happiness (and reaches a sustained therapeutic level very quickly!), but come 9 pm. she is ready for bed and will probably be snoring before you are. She does not get up on the furniture but will sleep right by your bed. She is perfectly house broken anddoes not touch anything but her toys. (But her toys usually get radical abdominal surgery fairly quickly! ) She does not beg for people-food supplements. She is very well mannered and great in the car. She even gets the morning paper at the front door and carries it to the table! That makes her my drug of choice to start the day.

The only family member not affected by the current Kenzie dosage is our family cat. It will take further testing to determine exactly what makes her happy.Still in the early phases of this trial, we can only state that a close Kenzie sniff is not effective on felines.

If you’re looking for a Golden medication that will become truly addictive to all family members ages 3 to 93, is effective in very low doses, has no potential for overdose, and provides a full range of pleasant results, check out the Kenzie treatment plan! Talk to your GRR Matchmaker and see if you qualify for Kenzie. Then, you can swing by our laboratory for a sample treatment. I guarantee you will be skipping out the door with a happy feeling after just one dose and be back the next day to sign up for the permanent maintenance program.

Side effects may include dog bathing, grooming, scooping poop, and vet bills. The Kenzie treatment is a GRR-registered Golden Retriever with unknown ancestry. Your results may vary.